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All clever, but #18 strikes a cord!

>   The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers
>> to  take any word from the dictionary,alter it by adding, subtracting, or
>> changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2005
> winners:
>>
>>  1. Cashtration (n): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
>> financially impotent for an indefinite period.
>>
>>  2. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
>> realize it was your money to start with.
>>
>>  3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>>
>>  4. Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
>> ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
>> shows
>> little sign of breaking down in the near future.
>>
>>  5. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
>> getting laid.
>>
>>  6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
>>
>>  7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
>> who doesn't get it.
>>
>> 8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
>>
>>  9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
>>
>>  10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease (This one got extra credit.)
>>
>>  11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is, like, sending off all
> these
>> really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
> and
>> it's, like, a serious bummer.
>>
>>  12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day
> consuming
>> only things that are good for you.
>>
>> 13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
>>
>> 14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
>> they
>> come at you rapidly.
>>
>> 15. Arachnoleptic fit (n): The frantic dance you perform just after
>> you've
>> accidentally walked through a spider web.
>>
>>  16. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
>> bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>>
>>  17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
>> fruit you're eating.
>>
>>  18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ashole
 

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enphediment: tendency to act like you're on drugs
colonary enfarction: shut down of bowel function
near-hiss: sound i make when running from a snake
big hair kit: product sold by directlineparts.com as cure for "helmet hair"
 
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