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Enjoy....

A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever
done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.

"Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon
a gang of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young
woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
So, I approached the largest and most heavily-tattooed biker and
smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose
ring, and threw it on the ground." I yelled, "Now, back off biker boy
or you'll answer to me!"

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple of minutes ago."
 

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What the diffrerence between a Harley and a Hoover Vacuum cleaner?


The Dirt Bag is in a different location. :joke:
 

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Ok here is another one :D

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American
on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men
began discussing their home lives.

"Last night, I made love to my wife four times," the
Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious
crepes and she told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the
Italian responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful
omelet and told me she could never love another man."

When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly
asked, "And how many times did you make love to your
wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what
did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."
 

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The Italian, The Frenchman and the *******

LOVE MAKING

The Italian says,

"When I've a finished a makina da love withah my wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floats 6 inches above a da bed in ecstacy."

The Frenchman replies.

zat is noting, when Ah've finished making ze love with ze wife, Ah kiss all ze way down her body, and zen Ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue, and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy."

The ******* says,

"That aint nothing. When I've finished porkin the ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the winder and wipe my weener on the curtains. She hits the freakin' ceiling."

:joke: :joke: :joke:
 

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One more: (I love this one, I got a million of 'em) :joke: :joke:

The Train Ride (aka-the short mystery)

Sitting together on a train, traveling through the Swiss Alps, are a French guy an American guy, an old Greek lady and a young blonde Swiss girl.

The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, the Frenchman has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.

The old lady thinks: The Frenchman must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.

The blonde thinks: That Frenchman must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.

The Frenchman thinks: The American must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.

The American thinks:
I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can smack that Frenchman again.
:a20:
 

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God I love the French! (NOT!)

Subject: TERROR ALERT IN FRANCE

Paris, July 7, 2005 - AP and UPI reported that after the attacks in London yesterday the French government today raised its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE on their four level danger scale. The two higher French danger levels are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise was precipitated by a fire yesterday which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing their military according to informed sources.

:a20:
 

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,,,aaand another joke,,this one comes from the famous "joke-war" between Sweden and Norway.

A passager airliner is on it's way, in air, and there is a Norwegian soccer team onboard.

After awhile they start to shoot the ball around inside the airplane and complaints is made to the Captain. The capt. goes back and tell them to stop,,,and they do.
When the capt. is back to the cockpit he say to his co-pilot that they stopped messing around.

After awhile they start again to mess around with the ball inside the airplane and now the capt. get back to them agian about playing around inside the plane.

After awhile he comes back to the cockpit and he say to his co-pilot: "Well, I finally got a solution to the problem and it worked."

"What did you do",,the co-pilot ask.

"well, said the capt..,, "I just told them to go outside, because it's a nice day to play soccer",,,

TAADAAA :D
 
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