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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Greetings fellow 9’rs,

I have a predicament that I was hoping someone with experience could chime in for.

Basically to try bring a long story short…. I am at a point in my life now where I have to make a decision on what I would like to do for the next 5-10 years.
As some of you may or may not know, I am just recently single again after a long relationship with a wonderful woman who I would of loved to be with, but things would of not worked out in the end due to certain circumstances. In addition to this, I used to live at home with family but everyone has split up. My parents live in North Carolina, My sister is married and moved out, and my brother just recently moved out as well to live with his girlfriend and possibly move to Italy for a bit.

Where this leaves me at the moment, is sitting in a 2 bedroom apartment that costs $1450 a month to RENT :eek::eek::eek: (This is Toronto afterall) and I have to move out into a Single bedroom place of my own. The problem with that, is that even single bedroom places to RENT cost upwards of $1200-$1300 a month and that’s not even living in luxury, its living in as basic of a place as you can get. I haven’t lived with a washing machine or even air conditioning for 15 years because of how expensive it is to live here.

On the other hand I wanted to consider buying a home here. And then of course, you see the absolute ****ty houses that I can’t afford on my measly salary working in IT here in Toronto. The only houses I can afford are over 200 miles away from the city, and of course there is no work there! I don't know if it would be a good idea to carry a mortgage for a place here that I am not even sure I want to be in 2, 3, or even 5 years from now....

This brings me to another point… I don’t like my job here, taxes are too high, renting/housing is far too expensive unless you have double income and its winter here for almost 7 out of 12 months of the year.

Should I take this opportunity to pick up all my stuff, and move closer to my parents? :dontknow: My parents were showing me places in North Carolina that cost literally ¼ of the amount to rent and even own. The weather is supremely better all year round, insurance and food and clothing is much cheaper as well and there are more opportunities in my field of work most likely as well. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to have amazing riding areas just a few hours in each direction.

This would mean leaving everything I know behind. I’ve already been traumatized when my family moved from South Africa to Canada 15 years ago, leaving behind friends and people who I considered family, and now I'm faced with that same situation again…

Move and leave everything behind, including my brothers and sisters and my closest friends…:'(

Or stay in Canada and suffer through horrible 7 month winters, unaffordable housing but receive free health care when I need it. :-\

Sorry for the rant but I need some extra opinions! I especially value any of the older/wiser members here who have had to go through similar situations.
 

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Moving isn't so bad

I did it for 20 years in the military. Now I'm put, nailed the furniture to the floor put. North Carolina is nice, Smokey Mountains, Deals Gap (The Tail of the Dragon). I wouldn't personally move now because I'm married and have a nice job and a farm. What do you have holding you down? See about getting a job first unless you've put alot of money back. Most of all think with your head and not your heart when making that type of decision. Good luck and if you're in the neighborhood (Ft. Knox, Kentucky) area give me a call (270) 779-0186.
 

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Tough decisions.
I would try changing where and how you live before moving away from friends and family.
The grass is rarely greener. In general working for a living sucks no matter where you are, Lower costs of living always come with some kind of price.
Good luck with the decisions.
 

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Ricochet, You and I have not met, but this is what I know. I move 6 years ago from the cold and rain of Oregon, to La Quinta, Ca.(palm springs) for similar reasons. In listening to your rant, I think your ready to move on. Life is an adventure. It is ok to move, you will find great friends where you move to, and your friends/family in Toronto will not forget you. We use Skype alot, which helps, and go back periodically to catch up. And when we do go back, the time spent is hyper fun becase we all get past the BS and just concentrate on enjoying each other. So I say, Move on, embrace the adventure, and life will take care of itself. Good luck, Vinny
 

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Tough decisions.
I would try changing where and how you live before moving away from friends and family.
The grass is rarely greener. In general working for a living sucks no matter where you are, Lower costs of living always come with some kind of price.
Good luck with the decisions.
Well said!!! Generally, not always, areas with lower cost of living translates into lower paying jobs.
 

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I did it for 20 years in the military. Now I'm put, nailed the furniture to the floor put. North Carolina is nice, Smokey Mountains, Deals Gap (The Tail of the Dragon). I wouldn't personally move now because I'm married and have a nice job and a farm. What do you have holding you down? See about getting a job first unless you've put alot of money back. Most of all think with your head and not your heart when making that type of decision. Good luck and if you're in the neighborhood (Ft. Knox, Kentucky) area give me a call (270) 779-0186.
:agree:100% I love changing things up from time to time. We're young! Enjoy life! Do something crazy! You'll make new friends... Their are a bunch of guys from this forum all around you! Get out, live in different places, and ride this piss out of that machine!:bigthumbsup:
 

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tough

I would move to a new environment. My dad always said, "a new broom sweeps cleaner" and he meant that newness brings a new quality to our lives that was missing.

You are single and can move more easily than a married fellow with kids. If the Canadian winters are that bad, that may be justification alone to move. I wouldn't consider only joining your parents if I were in your shoes. You have an entire world to enjoy.

Truth is, you will survive whatever decision you make. They are all liveable and your decision will not necessarily be a mistake. Opportunity is everywhere and you will do just fine. Again, I WOULD MOVE!!
 

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I agree with these guys. You're at a crossroads but, you don't have alot holding you back. ie mortgage, kids. I lived in Colorado for 7 years and my parents were in VA where I grew up. Life flew by and I didn't get to see them much. It got to where I was either coming home to bury someone or marry someone (not me). I went through a break up and looked around and decided it was time to move closer to home. I now live in NC and love it. I can visit but I'm far enough away that I can do my own thing too. Good luck with your decision.
 

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It sounds to me like you want to be around your family. And a change of venue is sometimes a really good thing. I make the big decisions useing the 3 Rs: Repercussions (what are the immediate consequents of this choice) Regret (when I'm 80 will I look back at this decision, or lack of, and feel like an idiot?) Rememberance (after I'm gone, how do I want to be remembered by people that matter to me). It takes some balls to pick up and change your entire life, but it sounds to me like it wouldn't be that hard to return if you wanted to.
If you don't mind my asking, what's your age? I've been around for a bit and believe me, the older you get, the faster time flys by. It's much simpler to make a change in location before you get tied down with a house, your kids, etc.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I did it for 20 years in the military. Now I'm put, nailed the furniture to the floor put. North Carolina is nice, Smokey Mountains, Deals Gap (The Tail of the Dragon). I wouldn't personally move now because I'm married and have a nice job and a farm. What do you have holding you down? See about getting a job first unless you've put alot of money back. Most of all think with your head and not your heart when making that type of decision. Good luck and if you're in the neighborhood (Ft. Knox, Kentucky) area give me a call (270) 779-0186.
Right now, I have nothing holding me down at all. I am pretty much debt free, except for my car and bike which I am still paying the bank off comfortably each month. I am willing to sell my car, i'd try keep the bike. Because I'm single and not married, this gives me the opportunity to do what ever I like... Its a big decision to make. Thanks for offering your hospitality, its greatly appreciated :bigthumbsup:

Tough decisions.
I would try changing where and how you live before moving away from friends and family.
The grass is rarely greener. In general working for a living sucks no matter where you are, Lower costs of living always come with some kind of price.
Good luck with the decisions.
I've been sending out resumes for almost a year with absolutely no positive results. I've been to a number of job interviews, all of which either pay less then what I make now, or pay the same but have a nightmare commute that would actually cost me more per year that I would still be making less then what I make now. Living anywhere in the GTA is clearly not for people who can't afford it, like myself now that everyone has moved away. If I was getting double income it wouldn't be as much of an issue. I already work my ass off doing extra work at home and still scrape by each month. All my attempts at meeting a real woman (that actually has income as well) have failed miserably. Don't even get me into the last 4 dates I've been on just this month alone where each one of these girls between the ages of 25-30 don't work!! Don't drive and hell some of them cant even ride a bycicle or swim… Very low quality here! I would not share my life with these loser females  I would love to be settled down, but alas… not possible right now and I don't know if I'm willing to "Wait" 2 -3 years to just get into a situation.. I'd already by 33 by then!

Ricochet, You and I have not met, but this is what I know. I move 6 years ago from the cold and rain of Oregon, to La Quinta, Ca.(palm springs) for similar reasons. In listening to your rant, I think your ready to move on. Life is an adventure. It is ok to move, you will find great friends where you move to, and your friends/family in Toronto will not forget you. We use Skype alot, which helps, and go back periodically to catch up. And when we do go back, the time spent is hyper fun becase we all get past the BS and just concentrate on enjoying each other. So I say, Move on, embrace the adventure, and life will take care of itself. Good luck, Vinny
Thanks for the advice. Have you ever regretted moving away and being away from the regular comforts of home? Have you found that you have a much better enjoyment of living ratio compared to your old place?
Well said!!! Generally, not always, areas with lower cost of living translates into lower paying jobs.
I thought North Carolina is a very techy place with lots of jobs in the tech business, is this assumption incorrect? Most people in the US have no idea what its like paying 15% tax on EVERYTHING you buy from a chocolate bar to a house. Its so retarded I don't think anyone even wants to think about it. I can't afford anything here at all! Cheaper houses, cheaper insurance ($300 a year versus $2000 a year), hell you guys can even buy clothes at walmart for 80% cheaper then we can here! These savings have got to add up. ???

:agree:100% I love changing things up from time to time. We're young! Enjoy life! Do something crazy! You'll make new friends... Their are a bunch of guys from this forum all around you! Get out, live in different places, and ride this piss out of that machine!:bigthumbsup:
You are right Hinky. I forgot there are a fair amount of 9rs in the area that I'm sure would offer support if needed B-) I already met a great couple of folks, TBud and Delmustator from the last time I was down there…

I would move to a new environment. My dad always said, "a new broom sweeps cleaner" and he meant that newness brings a new quality to our lives that was missing.
You are single and can move more easily than a married fellow with kids. If the Canadian winters are that bad, that may be justification alone to move. I wouldn't consider only joining your parents if I were in your shoes. You have an entire world to enjoy Truth is, you will survive whatever decision you make. They are all liveable and your decision will not necessarily be a mistake. Opportunity is everywhere and you will do just fine. Again, I WOULD MOVE!!
The Canadian winters are really that bad. Unbearable weather begins in late October and we don't actually see spring time like weather till June, and then summer kicks in for maybe 10 days some time between july and September and then we're back to rain and winter again. 15 years of this has given me a bad taste in my mouth, no one likes to have their nice clothes riddled with road salt and their vehicles rusting like a bitch (not to mention spending upwards of $1000 just for stupid winter tires)
Thanks to everyone for the comments. Keep them coming!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
It sounds to me like you want to be around your family. And a change of venue is sometimes a really good thing. I make the big decisions useing the 3 Rs: Repercussions (what are the immediate consequents of this choice) Regret (when I'm 80 will I look back at this decision, or lack of, and feel like an idiot?) Rememberance (after I'm gone, how do I want to be remembered by people that matter to me). It takes some balls to pick up and change your entire life, but it sounds to me like it wouldn't be that hard to return if you wanted to.
If you don't mind my asking, what's your age? I've been around for a bit and believe me, the older you get, the faster time flys by. It's much simpler to make a change in location before you get tied down with a house, your kids, etc.
I am turning 29 this year.
 

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If you are seriously considering moving let us fellow 9'ers know what type of job you would be looking for. That way we could let you know what is around in our neck of the woods. Just a way to help each other out.
 

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Rico,

With the little you seem to have holding you back, I would suggest just start looking around at certain areas of the country. Do some research on the IT field salary, cost of living, climate, qulaity/type of roads and all the little details that matter. Maybe you can get an interview with a company and they would pay for your moving expenses. Not sure if that is typical in teh IT field as it is in engineering, but that might help push you in one direction or another.

I can say that in 5 years or less I may be in similar circumstances. The wife will be graduating from graduate school and from all we have discussed we will pobably be making a big move out of Michigan. Other than our families, neither one of us like the state much (big surprise). We will be looking at every little detail to figure out where we want to settle down. I will almost guarantee you it will be somewhere far warmer than Mi. and have nicer roads!

In the end, do what makes you happy as you only live once.
 

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the only person who is going to be there for every single moment in your life is... YOU.. so do what makes you feel happy...

but i'd move to a north carolina, whos says they can't visit. ;) maybe u can take a friend with you.
 

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I'm 50 yr's. old and have always lived within 5 minutes of where I live currently.
Recently my wife, who just got her Masters Degree, started looking for jobs.
Living in Illinois you can forget teaching jobs here, so we are looking at relocating.
At 50 I am excited to think about moving somewhere new and all the changes that would take place.
I'm in a good position with my small business and could pick up and start over pretty easy.
I don't know how old you are, it doesn't sound like you have kids in school, I say move on to the next chapter in your life.
Sounds like it's right there waiting for you to turn the page.
Prep slowly and look for jobs now and think about what down sizing you can do while you get ready for the move.
Then as Nike says "Just Do It". Don't second guess yourself.
Take a chance and you know that where you live now will always be there if all else fails and you HAVE to go back.

Embrace the change!!
Jeff / Foo
 

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Right now, I have nothing holding me down at all. I am pretty much debt free, except for my car and bike which I am still paying the bank off comfortably each month.
I am turning 29 this year.
Move Brah! Your young and in a position to do so. NC weather is better and yes the cost of living & property taxes in the south are significantly cheaper. I don't mind sharing this because it's no big deal but I have a 2200 sq ft house on 3-1/2 acres with a stream and pay $1300 a year in property taxes. Financially it makes sense to move but you are undecided "emotionally" and seem to be afraid to leave your friends.

You'll have your parents for that sense of family. Your not in this relationship with this women anymore and it doesn't sound like your too thrilled with living in Toronto in general anyway.

My younger brother just moved from Detroit, MI to Raleigh, NC and is loving it. Not to say it will all be great for you, who knows, everyone is different.

Write down on paper the Pros/Cons of moving vs. staying while being totally honest with yourself. Sleep on it and think about it for a week or so and then see how you feel.

Did I mention longer riding season and access to twisty mountain roads?! :bigthumbsup:
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
If you are seriously considering moving let us fellow 9'ers know what type of job you would be looking for. That way we could let you know what is around in our neck of the woods. Just a way to help each other out.
Great Idea. :bigthumbsup:

My profession is in a couple of things. Right now I work as both an IT Administrator for the past 7 years at my company. I handle support issues, supply/build new systems, fix computer problems for a number of companies... My main area of study that I graduated for was in Graphic Design, I create websites, illustrations, graphics, 3D animations, Video Editing (This is the work I do on the side after the regular work day)

So all in all, I work with computers.. I can fix em, and I can use them to do design work for advertising, websites, video/tv.
 

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Move Brah! Your young and in a position to do so. NC weather is better and yes the cost of living & property taxes in the south are significantly cheaper. I don't mind sharing this because it's no big deal but I have a 2200 sq ft house on 3-1/2 acres with a stream and pay $1300 a year in property taxes. Financially it makes sense to move but you are undecided "emotionally" and seem to be afraid to leave your friends.

You'll have your parents for that sense of family. Your not in this relationship with this women anymore and it doesn't sound like your too thrilled with living in Toronto in general anyway.

My younger brother just moved from Detroit, MI to Raleigh, NC and is loving it. Not to say it will all be great for you, who knows, everyone is different.

Write down on paper the Pros/Cons of moving vs. staying while being totally honest with yourself. Sleep on it and think about it for a week or so and then see how you feel.

Did I mention longer riding season and access to twisty mountain roads?! :bigthumbsup:
You just made me want to move sooner, dangit!:eek:
 

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NC Tech hotbed and a great area to live. I've visited the area MANY times over the years as part of my job in hi tech. really nice area and a lot of IT jobs. Good luck

http://www.rtp.org/main/
 

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Ricochet, You and I have not met, but this is what I know. I move 6 years ago from the cold and rain of Oregon, to La Quinta, Ca.(palm springs) for similar reasons. In listening to your rant, I think your ready to move on. Life is an adventure. It is ok to move, you will find great friends where you move to, and your friends/family in Toronto will not forget you. We use Skype alot, which helps, and go back periodically to catch up. And when we do go back, the time spent is hyper fun becase we all get past the BS and just concentrate on enjoying each other. So I say, Move on, embrace the adventure, and life will take care of itself. Good luck, Vinny
:agree:

I would move to a new environment. My dad always said, "a new broom sweeps cleaner" and he meant that newness brings a new quality to our lives that was missing.

You are single and can move more easily than a married fellow with kids. If the Canadian winters are that bad, that may be justification alone to move. I wouldn't consider only joining your parents if I were in your shoes. You have an entire world to enjoy.

Truth is, you will survive whatever decision you make. They are all liveable and your decision will not necessarily be a mistake. Opportunity is everywhere and you will do just fine. Again, I WOULD MOVE!!
:agree:

Right now, I have nothing holding me down at all. I am pretty much debt free, except for my car and bike which I am still paying the bank off comfortably each month. I am willing to sell my car, i'd try keep the bike. Because I'm single and not married, this gives me the opportunity to do what ever I like... Its a big decision to make. Thanks for offering your hospitality, its greatly appreciated :bigthumbsup:

I thought North Carolina is a very techy place with lots of jobs in the tech business, is this assumption incorrect? Most people in the US have no idea what its like paying 15% tax on EVERYTHING you buy from a chocolate bar to a house. Its so retarded I don't think anyone even wants to think about it. I can't afford anything here at all! Cheaper houses, cheaper insurance ($300 a year versus $2000 a year), hell you guys can even buy clothes at walmart for 80% cheaper then we can here! These savings have got to add up. ???
If it were me, I'd be moving away from Canada ASAP...you sound like you're ready for the change. Leaving friends and siblings is difficult, but if the friendships are strong, you'll remain close and can visit each other and stay in touch electronically. I don't think friends is a good enough reason to hold yourself back from having a better life elsewhere.

I see pro's and con's about moving to NC and being so close to the parents. On the plus side, it's nice to have family close by and have those family ties, especially when you're new to the area. Moving near them might mean you could stay with them for a little while until you can find a place of your own and settle into a good job. Of course, that's a double-edged sword and might hold you back from getting established quickly.

I can't attest to what level of tech jobs are in that area, but I do have family there (my Nephew) that I can ask...he's lived there on and off for at least 10 years now. He has left NC and moved back there because that's where he and his family were the happiest.

But, I wouldn't narrow your search to just NC. Keep in mind that not that far North of there, you have Maryland (where we are) and the DC Metropolitan area is pretty decent when it comes to tech jobs. Lots to choose from up this way and, although we happen to live in one of the more expensive Counties (not sure WTF we were thinking, LOL), there are a lot of places right around here that are much more reasonable for housing. And, if you choose carefully, you can live in a low-cost area of DC/MD/VA and work within 30 miles of home, making bank!

I think the job market has been tough everywhere in the last year, but it seems to be picking up a little (at least around here, it is), so it might be a pretty good time to look for jobs here. :bigthumbsup:

Let me know if you need any more information about the Metro area here (which includes Maryland, Northern Virginia and Washington, DC); I'm happy to help out any way I can. Good luck with what ever decision you make...personally, I think you should GO FOR IT! :D
 
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