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Almost witnesses a murder tonight

5K views 84 replies 74 participants last post by  Nemo 
#1 ·
I went for a ride with my buddy Kelly (Silver 08, stock, not a member). We used to work the nightclubs together, and with me being 6'4 320lbs, and him at 6'8 405 lbs, I look like a runt next to him.
Anyways, gorgeous day out, so we head south out of town. I needed gas, so we hit a big station on the edge of the city. I fill up, he pulls into a stall one spot over from a pair of identical Harley's with Texas plates (we get a lot of oilfield guys up here). So there's a car in between Kelly and these two bikes, and he's crouched down wiping his intakes. The two Harley guys come out, and are looking at mine. I say "nice bikes".
Their response? One says:
"better than that piece of sh** Jap bike"
The other says:
"f***ing ni**er bike".
Did I mention Kelly is black? And about eight feet away? Whoops. Back in our nightclub days I've seen what happens to guys that drop the N-bomb in his presence. He stands up and says:
"What the F did you just say?"
Now Kelly has the silhouette of a Kodiak bear, and these poor guys had no idea he was there. They froze and looked panicked. They looked at each other, they looked at me, they looked at their bikes, they turned white as ghosts, and I think one of them might have pooped a little. I guess these Rascist jack offs forgot they were in Canada and can't carry handguns, and certainly didnt look like they could go hand to hand against either of us, let alone both of us. They straight up didn't know what to do. Kelly walks around the car (and I'm thinking we're going to jail) up to the two Harley's, pulls out his... Ummm... Junk... and proceeds to rub it all over thier grips, tanks, seats, and both guys are standing there frozen with no idea what to do. He then says (and this is one of the most awesome things I've ever witnessed) "Now these are Ni**er bikes too." I tell them to play nice while I go inside to pay for my gas, I come out and Kelly's siting on one of the bikes, junk still out, lightly humping it. The two guys still haven't really moved or regained thier colour yet. I tell them "Can you hurry up and apologize so we can get on with our day?"
They mumbled two apologies under their breath. Kelly made them repeat it louder and with more feeling, because he didn't believe they meant it. Anyways, we finished our ride and I've been home for an hour or two and no cops yet, so I guess it's all good.
 
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#6 ·
Thats friggin awesome!!!!!!!!!! KUDOS to Kelly. Racist jackasses is right........ I sure would have loved to be there to see that!!!!!!!!!!
 
#7 ·
ROFL...now that is some hilarious stuff. I am still laughing. I can just imagine how funny it was to see in person.
 
#11 ·
F***ing AMAZING!!
 
#15 ·
That was the best story I've heard all year. The word that comes to my mind is "priceless".

Those :edit: HD guys were probably relatives of a douche bag I meet last year. I got together with around 20 guys for a 8 day ride through Georgia, Tennessee, & Florida. All the guys were retired Fire Fighters, and I knew all of them except one who I was introduced to the first day. Turns out he lives about one hour north of me here in the Keys. I introduce myself to him and say I live close to you so we should hook up for a ride one day. He said I don't ride with JAP bikes and he turns around and walks away. Needles to say I didn't talk to him the rest of the trip. We all make it to the Deals Gap for a rid on the Dragon. Only about 8 of us decide to go that day. Everyone is standing around the tree of shame trying to figure out when to start on the Dragon when I get tried of standing around. I jump on my bike and have a great ride on the dragon both ways. I get back and stop for a rest and wait for the group to return. It was almost an hour later when I started to get worried about the rest of my group. It turns out the Douche Bag guy who doesn't like JAP bikes drove over the double yellow line right into another biker going the opposite direction. Both guys ended up in the hospital and both bikes were totaled. Fortunately he or the other unfortunate other guy didn't get killed. I sure hope the douche bag wasn't trying to catch up with my Jap bike. :D:D:D:D
 
#16 ·
Oh Shiz

Good story bro.................... Sounds like it was one hella of a ride.
 
#18 ·
Love it

Circusbear,

Now that is about the funniest thing i've heard this week.
 
#23 ·
Kelly is my hero! My dad is one of those hd douche bags. Actually he's anti anything Japanese. I bet it was a complete mind f@#k when my younger brother married a full blooded Japanese woman straight out of Tokyo! Why is it if you take a douche bag and put him on hd he thinks he's a Hells Angel?
 
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