Why California Is Broke And Texas Is Not

**Stag Fury** · 02-05-2012

California

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to the hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in State funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training, re: the nature of coyotes.

9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.

TEXAS

The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that is why California is broke and Texas is not.

**STL-TIGER** · 02-05-2012

Sad but True!

**rynosback** · 02-05-2012

LOL

**rudeboy109** · 02-05-2012

Jerry Brown is an Idiot and how he got relected blows my mind.

**cloud9** · 02-05-2012

hell ya thats how we roll

**Nemo** · 02-05-2012

This sounds like more ,than just California........

**Todds9** · 02-05-2012

In Washington state, we would also add the coyote to our state assistance program, give it food stamps, free medical care and if it wanted to work, pay it the highest wage in the country!

**jhardy** · 02-05-2012

TEXAS IS AN AWESOME STATE

**Captnpirate** · 02-05-2012

I'm thinking Texas get's to the point quicker......and cheaper. The upside to California?........there are more jobs......at your tax dollar expense.

**D-Ride** · 02-05-2012

LOL, love it!! So true tho

**tbar** · 02-05-2012

**dre319** · 02-06-2012

Here is how we Texans do it. This is a true story too. A few weeks ago, I'm out walking my dog in my neighborhood only two blocks away from my house when all of the sudden a pit bull comes out of no where and attacks my Aussi. That pit bull's last image was my dog. I pulled my blade and stabbed that MoFo three times till it fell over. I've never even seen that dog before either. Scared the crap out of me.

**antmor69** · 02-06-2012

Originally Posted by dre319

Here is how we Texans do it. This is a true story too. A few weeks ago, I'm out walking my dog in my neighborhood only two blocks away from my house when all of the sudden a pit bull comes out of no where and attacks my Aussi. That pit bull's last image was my dog. I pulled my blade and stabbed that MoFo three times till it fell over. I've never even seen that dog before either. Scared the crap out of me.

**The Chief** · 02-06-2012

Originally Posted by dre319

Here is how we Texans do it. This is a true story too. A few weeks ago, I'm out walking my dog in my neighborhood only two blocks away from my house when all of the sudden a pit bull comes out of no where and attacks my Aussi. That pit bull's last image was my dog. I pulled my blade and stabbed that MoFo three times till it fell over. I've never even seen that dog before either. Scared the crap out of me.

Well done! you're like Tarzan! If you did that here in California it would be all over the news, a forensic team would be searching for the murder weapon, Peta and the SPCA would be up in arms and there would be an APB out for a knife wielding mad man. Good job, one less agressive pit bull in the world

**swatcop** · 02-06-2012

I know this story is true, or at least the part of Dave crapping his pants. I talked to him a few hours after that happened and his voice was still shakin. Job well done. Did the PD ever find the owner?

**Stag Fury** · 02-07-2012

Originally Posted by dre319

Here is how we Texans do it. This is a true story too. A few weeks ago, I'm out walking my dog in my neighborhood only two blocks away from my house when all of the sudden a pit bull comes out of no where and attacks my Aussi. That pit bull's last image was my dog. I pulled my blade and stabbed that MoFo three times till it fell over. I've never even seen that dog before either. Scared the crap out of me.

We now have our point man for the Kerrville Ride... Davambo

**cloud9** · 02-07-2012

Originally Posted by Stag Fury

We now have our point man for the Kerrville Ride... Davambo

I second the motion.you should have pulled it out on the cows in nacogdoches.could have had fresh steak.lol

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**dre319** · 02-07-2012

The COP even asked me why I didn't shoot it? I didn't want anymore crap then I was already dealing with. Besides I didnt want to take the chance and shoot my dog. Yeah, I carry everywhere I go. Badge and creds at all times.

**dre319** · 02-07-2012

Originally Posted by The Chief

Well done! you're like Tarzan! If you did that here in California it would be all over the news, a forensic team would be searching for the murder weapon, Peta and the SPCA would be up in arms and there would be an APB out for a knife wielding mad man. Good job, one less agressive pit bull in the world

Yes sir!

Originally Posted by swatcop

I know this story is true, or at least the part of Dave crapping his pants. I talked to him a few hours after that happened and his voice was still shakin. Job well done. Did the PD ever find the owner?

Im not sure if they ever found the owner but id sure like to meet him! Hey in case it happens again and I do crap my pants, can I borrow one of your depends?

Originally Posted by Stag Fury

We now have our point man for the Kerrville Ride... Davambo

Nice

Originally Posted by cloud9

I second the motion.you should have pulled it out on the cows in nacogdoches.could have had fresh steak.lol
We would have eaten well but I think I would have needed a bigger blade!

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**swatcop** · 02-07-2012

Since you seem to have a habit of crappin your pants, you can have the whole unopened pack.

**dre319** · 02-09-2012

Originally Posted by swatcop

Since you seem to have a habit of crappin your pants, you can have the whole unopened pack.

**Rider 4 Life** · 02-11-2012

TEXAS ROCKS!!!! I would have at least shot the coyote twice. No sense in pulling out my gun for only one shot.

**Gogo-rider** · 02-13-2012

Texas kills the most death row inmates in the entire U.S. of A!!! Thats where our secret to greatness lyes.

Ride on.....

Thread: Why California Is Broke And Texas Is Not

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Why California Is Broke And Texas Is Not

That's just too funny but probaly true

Texas ROCKS!!!

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