VENT with ME.... Let it all out!!!!

[Deno_n_philly]

I try to explain the ride and the feeling the 9 gives me to people and they just don't understand the love I have for my bike and to ride. I am 80% disabled from USMC, PTSD.. really bad... and the only time I am not thinking bout "STUFF" is when I am on "The Mistress". This should have been me:

http://articles.latimes.com/1996-05-...corps-aircraft

If it wasn't for Sgt. Bryan D. Jones my name would be on that list at the bottom. Problem is one of them took my place and now they are gone. I had to set up the boots, rifle, dogtags and helmets for the memorial service to them at Camp Lejeune. I have not been right in the head since.. "Survivorship mentality" is what they call it..

But the only time I don't think about death, life and everything else is when I am riding.. the looks, the attention, the ride, the wind... all of it is amazing...

Share with the group, how do you feel when you ride?

[Wjduke]

That's an awesome testament as to the power of this bike, and not even for the raw power of it. I've said here many times how much I love mine. I'm a veteran too, from the mid 70's, right after Nam...I was a lucky one and I feel for you. Good luck and enjoy that bike! I'm right with you!

[She's real fine my 109]

I can sum it up in one word. FREEEEEEE

[Canadian]

I remember a conversation I had with my grandfather before he passed on. He was a WWII vet. I flat out asked how he dealt with things mentally after the fact. He started out talking about distancing yourself and containing emotions. But then he paused and said the biggest help was giving up on searching for the reason in it.

He had a situation where he was 10 minutes late for a meeting and in that 10 minutes most of his platoon was killed by random rear shelling including the regimental seargent major. He was then promoted to be the new regimental seargent major (youngest in Canadian army).

He said there is no why in it. People often spend the rest of their lives stuck searching for the why... the reason. It is in our nature to look for it, to not believe in luck. It is very hard to let this go. In fact he said it is a leap of faith to abandon the search for reason.

He somehow was able to do this and it gave him his life back. Why some friends died and he didn't is because of luck and hapinstance. There is no reason in it. He said this was the hole many of his fellow survior friends fell into.

Easy to put down on paper... much harder to do. I wish you luck in your struggles. I am glad you have found an activity that brings you some refuge from what is a monumental struggle :).

As for me... the bike is freedom. The only thoughts in my head are the ride. That is why I won't get mics for the wife and I when we ride... I want to keep it that way.

[Deno_n_philly]

Everytime I get on her, its like Xmas morning... The Busa was fun to ride, but this is fun and relaxing at the same time.. whenever we want to get on it we can.. or we can cruise.

One of the best Mod's i did so far was the Engine Guards and Highway pegs.. put my feet up, relax and just ride...

[Latinrascal]

Well thanks to all of our US soldiers whom have secured our freedoms past and present I would have to agree with she's so fine and say i feel FREE. But not just any free, Free like the eagle soaring high above the clouds in a gentle breeze kinda free. Free like nothing else in the world matters and not a worry in the world Free and I get that feeling everytime I throw a leg over my bike. So thank-you for your service and my freedoms.

[Rambo1985]

Well thanks to all of our US soldiers whom have secured our freedoms past and present I would have to agree with she's so fine and say i feel FREE. But not just any free, Free like the eagle soaring high above the clouds in a gentle breeze kinda free. Free like nothing else in the world matters and not a worry in the world Free and I get that feeling everytime I throw a leg over my bike. So thank-you for your service and my freedoms.

[DC_Niner]

Makes me feel like I hope all you Veterans feel.......like one in a million.
From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

[Boudreaux]

Thanks To all that serve for our Freedom!!!
Free Indeed!!! Love the power, the wind, And I do my Best Praying in the wind.
And when I want to Get Real Close to God, 140+ mph is where I find Him!!! Love this Machine!!!
God Bless You All!!!!!!

[BAD BOY M109R]

Well thanks to all of our US soldiers whom have secured our freedoms past and present I would have to agree with she's so fine and say i feel FREE. But not just any free, Free like the eagle soaring high above the clouds in a gentle breeze kinda free. Free like nothing else in the world matters and not a worry in the world Free and I get that feeling everytime I throw a leg over my bike. So thank-you for your service and my freedoms.

[southernmostm109r]

I thank all those that serve, I can't begin to express my admiration and gratitude.
As far as bike, it is my stress reliever. Some people meditate, some take long walks, some drink till they pass out and some take out there stress out on their families. A ride not only relieves stress, it makes me feel recharged. I am sure if I were born 100 years ago I would be on a horse riding across the land doing the same thing I do on my 9. I guess that why they call it a iron horse. I smell the trees, grass, air, and admire our wounderfull land. I always return refreshed and ready to face another day.

[Nemo]

I feel exactly the same way.....Last few years have been hell. Nothing compared to what you posted but, When I am on my bikes. NOTHING else seems to matter. I just go out and smell the smells and see the sights. Getting outside of myself and ride baby ride.........I commend you for still riding the beast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Zoom]

This bike is one fine doctor, or at least a nurse practitioner. I'm getting to that age where things just hurt for no reason, and to feel better I just go for a nice ride. Shoulders stop aching, back feels better, all of it gets a little cure. I don't think my wife believes me when I tell her that, but it's true.

And a big thanks from me to all those that have served and are still serving. You guys and gals don't get near the amount of appreciation that you should.

[Deno_n_philly]

Riding in this morning was 65 degrees and the wind in my face and not alot of traffice on 95 north.. my music is blazing.. and i just put my feet and and drift away from reality... there is no feeling like riding a bike in the world.. i have to agree if this was 100 years ago, i would own a horse too... just takes your mind away to peace and tranquility....

[BigBully]

For the past few years I had a compressed disk and the last few months before the surgery in June, it just got progressively worse. Sitting never brought me pain but I knew that I wouldn't be comfortable riding my GSX-R anymore. So I bought my 9.

Leading up to the surgery I couldn't walk, I couldn't stand, and even laying down was painful and physically draining, but riding my 9 was one of the most comforting things I could do. Three days after the surgery (a shaved disk in my lower back) I was out trying to ride again. I only went a few miles and the bumps paid their toll, but it was still good getting back to riding.

When I rode the sportbike it was all about speed and being on the edge. It was all about getting there fast and looking for the next turn that I can do a deep learn in.

Riding the 9 is the second most relaxing event in my life with being on the beach in Jamaica being the first. When I first got my 9 I told people that riding it was dangerous. It was/is dangerous in the sense that I am so relaxed riding that my mind drifts and I end up daydreaming. It's so funny that I have to focus on my ride and what I'm doing and bring myself back to the moment.

[Beedub109R]

I spent 3 tours on a razor's edge. 20 hour days, 7 days a week. We were always assigned to the wild west portions of the theatre. When I came home for good, I was spun up to say the least. Couldn't do crowds, public places, traffic, etc. Spent half the day in the house, in the dark, trying to slow my mind down. I got a medical discharge in 08. My purple hearts did not keep me protected from my own torment for at least the first year, they just went in the drawer with the rest of my medals. I hated civillians, period. It wasn't their fault, I just had no respect for those that did not know what it was like to send their best friends and brothers in arms home on a flight dressed in a bag, and that was an every- week occurrence. I spent the 2nd and 3rd year home trianing myself to slow down. Remembering that all we did was for those civillians and they were an asset, not a liability. I slowed to a point that I lost my will. I became even more depressed and it was all I could do to get to work, make it through the day, and enjoy my beautiful family when I got home at the end of the day. I needed something. I needed a controlled risk that would spark my ignition again. On my 9 I feel like I am where I need to be. It's a tough thing to explain but, soldiers need combat. That is where we belong. We fight through it when we are there, wishing we were home in our ladie's arms but, secretly, we need it. We feel comfortable in harms way. Here, back home I have found an uneasy peace with myself. I find it riding. The sensory input triggers my emotions and gets the synapses firing in order. I love the risk because I control it. It's not just the 9. any decent bike would suffice I am sure but that being said, I'm glad it is the 9 because it adds to the experience in a way that we ALL understand on this forum. Thanks for hearing me out.

[Deno_n_philly]

Your back is in bad shape...

Your PTSD is hard to deal with...

Family doesn't understand why we are so different now and closed off...

Friends get mad because you just arent the same...

BUT.... ... THE 9... always makes you feel right at home. I can't open up like to ppl that know me or i work with.. tell them that i am the most sucidical person that they have ever met.. and my biggest struggle every day is not killing myself.. they will not understand, why I ride the 9 so much..

I wanted a place (this thread) where we can open up to each because we all have at least 2 things in common.. 1 we love our 9's and 2 we all respect each other and its the brotherhood..

So please keep this going.. this helps me too.. if you are reading this then post something.. if have posted already then what was your last ride like... ?

Thanks fellas...

[Chicago Bill]

I have a C109 but feel the same. First time out was like getting married. I was terrified and excited at the same time. Still feel that way when I roll on the throttle.

I was in the USMCR when that incident happened. I did my active duty time on the west coast. I had a very good friend that was flying-46's out of New River at the time and he knew the pilots. Semper FI, my brother.

I had double disc fusion last November, L3 to L5. That sucked. I put on 5500 miles last year and only have about 500 this year because I am still recovering. It's going well but it takes time. I took up playing guitar again cause I couldn't get out on my 9. I am hopeful next year will be a higher mileage year.

You all keep the faith and it takes a strong man to lean on another. That's why we are human.

Two down low from Chicago Bill.

[Lthrnek89]

I was in the active duty wing with the VMFAs for 10 years and the thing about Naval Aviation is that it is a dangerous occupation. I see have seen many accidents within the community on shore and afloat and its just dangerous- nothing you can do about it and sometimes bad things happen.

The first Huey that I flew in crashed in China Lake and every helo ride after that I would throw-up.

I totally understand the rational of having to whined down....everything was so high speed. With two wars going on and serving as a combat engineer in the reserves, why wife and I decided it was best to be home with our four kids. I left the service with over 15 years of service while having my application at the Gunny board. I left as a SSgt...just walked away. I do not regret it. I love my family and I am whole with 10 fingers and 10 toes and I am able to hold my children every night.

Deno...if you do have those types of feelings...then do yourself and your loved ones and favor and give them your weapons until later. They would still be yours- but your friends would just hold on to them for a while. We hadd to do a similar thing for a friend of our because of a serious injury he incurred and after a year of being out of the hospital...we gave them all back. YOU will have some bad days...maybe everyday seems bad...just be smart enough to limit the easiest opportunities to yourself... Devil Dogs have to look after each other! If you want to talk...PM me. I'll give you a call!

About the feeling of riding... I lost my automatic weapons, no crew served weapons, don't feel right carrying my K-Bar in public...wife asked me NOT to become a police officer...so RIDING IS MY RUSH. I used to commute to Miramar on my GSX-R so I got over the whole speed thing...now its just about the cruise...I feel alot like the bike... powerful, free, (sexy but in a badass kidda way) CHICKS DIG ME!
It's like I'm in my DRESS BLUES...just badass!

[zthang]

I'm 80% service connected on PTSD alone so I understand how you feel. I was going nuts sitting in this house with the curtains closed, doorbell disconnected, would freeze everytime I heard a noise outside just trying to be quiet so they would go away. I got my 2009 109RZ a few weeks ago and there is nothing like the feeling I get from riding. Nobody knows my problems when they look at me go by on the bike, and for me, it's just me and the road and the wind. I started riding when I was 5 and stopped when I joined the Navy at 18, so it was great getting back in the saddle at 45.

I kind of felt guilty at first for buying the thing since I have two kids and a wife, but it really helps me in a way I can't explain. It's like an old friend you're happy to see once that wind hits you and you feel the buzz of the engine through your hands. I use to forget I was driving when I was in a car, would think I was sitting at home while driving my kids home from school, but on the bike, I never forget I'm riding because the wind and the sound of the bike constantly remind me where I am.

My group was attacked by a gang of Chinese, one had his bone sticking out of his arm, one's head was split open and I had my throat cut. Dr said I was lucky to be alive, just a hair over and my juggler would have been cut. Ive dealt with what I know now as PTSD ever since. It's like your a hollow shell of what you once were until I get on that bike and I'm the King of the world!

[Syler]

Much thanks to all you soldiers for your service and sacrafice. Nobody knows better than you guys that freedom isn't free.

I am not a soldier, but I understand where you guys are coming from. Just before Memorial Day my Mother suffered a subdural hematoma which is a bleed between the skull and brain. It causes pressure on the brain and has about a 20% survival rate. Fortunatly my Mother did survive but at this point it is looking like she will need 24 hour care and never be the same - she is 68.

The night I realized there is little hope for a full recovery I was on my bike. I just rode around into the wee hours of the night doing nothing but stairing at the road in front of me and just zoning out into the experience of the ride. In my estimation that is about the closest one can get to feeling like a bird. Anyway, it sure helped me that night. The rest of the time I just really enjoy it. It's one fantastic feeling.

[CBR1000DUDE]

There's not much I can add to what's already been said so well. I was in the Army in 1963 to 1966, a long time ago, and I can still see, hear and smell Korea in my mind. I even remember a popular Korean song from then since it played on the radio (our only form of entertainment) about ten times a day. So you just have to learn to deal with old memories, they don't go away. Life's full of crappy baggage, guilt, and remorse. You either choose to live in the "now" world, or the past. Having healthy outlets like your bike sure helps.
Try to fill your days with positive activities and attitudes one day at a time, because "now" is what all of us really have. Yesterday's gone, tomorrow is only a promise.
Good luck soldiers everywhere.

[greyisfaster]

Thanks To all that serve for our Freedom!!!
Free Indeed!!! Love the power, the wind, And I do my Best Praying in the wind.
And when I want to Get Real Close to God, 140+ mph is where I find Him!!! Love this Machine!!!
God Bless You All!!!!!!

I hear program in here somewhere. I always say god is just a twist of the throttle away.